I don't know what to do about these feelings, and you're not making it any easier on me. Why do I want to be your friend? When I want more.
Why do I have to hide myself from the world? When I want to show myself, the one I am right now. So that you can see, that I really mean it when I say that I like you.
But I don’t think that liking is enough to describe my feelings. I have fallen in love with you.
I don’t know what to do, I really would like to be with you, but you don’t have a single clue about these hidden feelings, and I am too scared to tell you.
I’m so confused, I really am afraid of what will happen to me. I can’t keep going on like this, swallowing every single word I want to say, keeping it al to me while my heart can’t take it anymore. I’m overflowing with pain, itching in the very dept of my veins, the need to tell you, the need to confess that I’m struggling like this for the past months.
I would like to stand in a corner and forget who I am, who I want to be, and just continue like this for the sake of my loved ones, but it would be the death of me.
I’m hollow, consumed by the pain.



Why did I decide to continue like this?
I didn’t, I really want to tell you how much I care, but I’m scared, because I really want to be with you, and we know that that isn’t possible. I am caged to my own stupidity of not telling you, but I can’t. I hope someday I will. And I hope that day comes before I’m consumed by this horrible feeling inside.

Eiko


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